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Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 12:54 am same
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: promise -~- matchbook romance
within the next week we'll have this same conversation and we'll have the same opinions. i'll sit here with the same tears in my eyes and the same feelings inside, neither of which i'd yet be able to control. and you'll be sitting on your same laptop with the same things inside of you that you have right now, whatever they may be.
and the conversation will have the same ending. with me wanting to walk away from that same conversation, hoping something would magically happen making things better, anything better. with you wanting me to stay in that same conversation, or whatever wild tangent it took, with the same hope that something would change and with the same fear that that same walking away would only make those same things worse, even those wild tangent routes.
and after several same requests to stay and false goodnights, i put up that same away message, pull down my same sheets and crawl into my same bed. i stare at the same ceiling with many different toughts, some the same. you leave the same comments to my away message, which i can't answer. you may play those same computer games and search those same websites until you and your same, or different, thoughts are strong enough to walk away from that same computer and you can pull down your same sheets and stare at your same ceiling, all with those thoughts, whatever they are.
when we find ourselves at our same computers again, everything will play in the same motion, with the same beginning, middle, and end. through the first hello/shot, to the middle battle/argument, to the final and only true goodnight/one defeat and no real victory. but always ending in the same i love you, the most sincere part of the whole/same conversation.
this same person likes being held, just more so in the same comfort of your arms and the more enjoyable same conversations, as opposed to wanting to leave those same battles that have no impact on the war.
so yeah, this same person will slowly pull those same sheets down, crawl into that same bed and think about you and the same games you are playing, all the while staring at that same ceiling until my same eyes can stay open no longer and my same mind can no longer wonder.
i'm not eager to stare at that same ceiling, just eagar to get out of that same tear producing conversation. i'll trace that same face of yours with my eyes, in the shadowed texture on the same ceiling, along with the same words i wish i could say, but can hardly produce.
so here is my same goodnight and my sincere i love you. i am off to pull down those same sheets, crawl in that same bed and stare at that same ceiling. i'll lay there and wonder when those same games will flash game over on your same computer screen, and those same websites will refuse to load, at which point we will be doing the same thing...thinking the same toughts of each other.
About this Entry
Date:July 25th, 2005 03:08 am (UTC)
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i dont even have to finish reading your entry to know what your talking about. and you know how i feel about you crying by yourself, and over a guy. you are one of the strongest people i know kendall, no matter what yoru going through, you can get through it and you are never going through it alone...dont worry, it will be fine. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen. It will get worse before it gets better, trust me. i love you babe <3
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Date:July 25th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
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i dont kno all the specifics an i dont want to or need to. i jus wanna let you know that im here for you if you want to talk or even if dont. and even thouhg you might not be able to reach it, my shoulder is always here for you to cry on. be strong. i kno you can pull through this.